Monday, December 21, 2015

My Last Month Mark


Can I tell you how I am feeling right now?

I try to get up and study every morning. I always wake up on time. I am trying not to just go through the motions. I am striving to pray and truly talk to God. I have found comfort in my soul as I talk to Him and tell Him how I am feeling. Sometimes in the middle of my studies I have to stop because the pills that I am taking make me so tired I can´t keep my eyes open or I hurt so bad and am swollen and I can´t concentrate on what I am reading. Then I feel bad because I know we should study every morning and I really do try and I ask God for forgiveness. I have been sick for a month. I have been sick with one thing or another my whole mission! And I feel a little defeated, and a lot tired. 

I think about the time that I have left and it is so little. I go everyday and work and I work until I can´t anymore and its time to go home. I mess up so many times and I try to repent for every little thing. I cherish the sacrament because I need it to wipe away my sins. I need Jesus Christ. We all need Him. 

I get sad because I see such poverty and such debt and such unrest here, such bad choices, so many drug deals, so many drug addicts, and my heart hurts. Satan has power over people, and they don´t want to hear our words. They don´t want to hear the truth. 

But it is times like these where I say to myself, Christ has conquered all. The Atonement is real. Jesus Christ loves the world, but He and His Father cannot except sin. And this is where we, as missionaries, come in. And when they don´t accept us, we kick the dust off our feet and we keep planting seeds and we go and we keep preaching and teaching and nourishing those who already know because that is what the Lord has called us to do. 

 This is truth! This is the gospel of Jesus Christ, and we take it to the righteous and the wicked, all aroud the world. Casting our seeds everywhere and anywhere. I am not a failure, am I? Just because I am the Lord´s seedplanter (as He told me once in a blessing) and not always a reaper of the white fields does not mean I am not a successful missionary. I love the mission, because it teaches me quick lessons. The Spirit is almost always with me. He helps me see that there is still a long way to go, but that I am in the right path. The Atonement is something truly beautiful. It changes us. 

I feel blessed and privileged to be a missionary, to have a great companion, to be in my BELOVED Mexico and come to know the sweetest best people I have ever met. God has given me another family here. I now speak and read and write and understand a new beautiful language, that will bless me live forever. 

I am going to keep giving it all I got. I won´t run faster than I have strength, but I will keep going until the very end. And the very end won´t be until January 18th! Let´s go! I am ready and I am willing.

Can I give you a little mission advice? Don´t say someday I will share the Book of Mormon. Pick a day. Pray about the day. Covenant with God that you will give it out by that day. And do it. It will take some reaching out and meeting new people and inviting neighbors to family activities, but you can do it. I know you can. I know you will. And I want you to do it before January 18. You have a month! 

Oh, how grateful I am to be part of the Church of Jesus Christ. How I long to be a missionary forever. But God knows it is 18 months for a reason. 17 months this week. Crazy or what. I will never hit another month mark in the mission. Its my last one.  

Something that we are doing this year is we put a paper christmas tree up and we put a miracle and a scripture everyday. Its a good way to remember the Savior and to count our blessings. I think I will do it when I go home as well... I remembered our Christmas traditions last night and got a little excited. We are so cool! Our family rocks! 

17 month old
Hermana Burton  

No comments:

Post a Comment